


From the Mind

by SophiaRemembers



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-25
Updated: 2014-04-26
Packaged: 2018-01-09 23:30:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1152116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SophiaRemembers/pseuds/SophiaRemembers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Months after Sherlock's return from his fake death, John has finally forgiven him, but he notices something is wrong. Sherlock is broken. In an attempt to help, John has Sherlock start writing in a journal. A story told in a series of Journal entries. Post Reichenbach, but ignoring season 3. Johnlock. T for language and safety.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In Which Sherlock Doesn't Understand Journals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John gives Sherlock a journal to help him deal with everything he went through, but Sherlock doesn't know quite what to make of it.

 

**_Tuesday, March 18 th, 2014. Approximately 1:58 am._ **

**** _I have been back for about two months now and John has… insisted that I write in this journal. I don’t exactly know what he expects to come of this or what he expects of me, but I concluded that it would be best to at least appease him. After all I did fake my death for two years. Apparently it is “the least I can do” John’s words, not mine._

_I am coming to realize that I am not necessarily the writing type. I haven’t written much since school and that was many many years ago. Texting is more my thing, short and gets the point across without the need this incessant and pointless rambling._

_John won’t even let me type this up! He went out and bought me a special notebook with a leather cover and silk bookmark. Rather tacky if you ask me._

_John is in bed now so I thought I might try it. Just as I suspected, pointless._

**_March 18 th, 2014_ **

**** _It’s taken a while, but I finally did it, I finally forgave Sherlock. I posted it on my blog, like usual._

_But even through the anger I could see that something was wrong._

_Sherlock was broken. He was acting strangely, even for him, dare I say it, a bit more…_ human.

_This might sound like a good thing, but I feel that for a man like Sherlock Holmes it can be dangerous…._

_Anyways, to help I suggest that he ran a blog, much as I do myself, when he insisted that he already had one, despite my arguments that the Science of Deduction does not count, I suggested a personal journal._

_He, of course, gave me one of those blank looks of his and I went further to explain how it would help._

_He didn’t seem please but after a long moment of apparent deep thought he said something that shocked me._

_“On one exception, you have to write one too. I won’t be the only one making a fool of myself with this silly journal business.”_

_With a sigh I agreed, and so here I am, writing to no one. Rather strange actually, I’ve been working on my blog for so long, it’s hard to get used to this different kind of setting. I didn’t even have to come up with a title. Oh well, I guess it will be nice to get a little more personal._

**_Tuesday, March 25, 2014. Approximately 2:04pm_ **

_I don’t know what it is with John. I. AM. FINE. I don’t know what it is with that man and these words, but they never seem to get through. Sometimes I wish I could cut open that head of his and see if anything is stuck inside. Though I am sure there are many people who not approve of that, specifically John himself._

_It’s been a week since my last entry and John’s been saying things like “You’re getting worse” and “You need to try Sherlock.” I don’t know what is more frustrating, the fact that John keeps pushing me into this Journal task, or the fact that I’m having trouble deducting what’s going on inside his head._

_John is at the store now, some reason I don’t want him to see me writing. It shouldn’t matter, but it does._

_There are too many things that I don’t understand._

_What is happening to me?_

 


	2. In Which John Celebrates His Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's John's birthday, but he doesn't expect much from Sherlock.

 

**_March 29 th, 2014_ **

**** _It’s my birthday tomorrow, thinking about going out for drinks tomorrow with Lestrade, not much else I can do. If Sherlock remembers it’ll be a miracle. He never acknowledged it before he “died” why would he this time? I’m not sure why I feel so worried about this._

**_Sunday, March 30 th, 2014. Approximately 6:17 pm_ **

**** _Today is John’s birthday. He hasn’t said anything about it to me, so I have chosen not to bring it up as well. Thus it has gone on like any other boring day with no case._

_I NEED A CASE._

_It’s been a couple weeks since the last case and even then that was one I solved without even leaving the flat so it hardly counts._

_But I digress, John’s birthday. Lestrade showed up about 15 minutes ago and John left with him with hardly a word to me. Of course John said his farewells, he always does, and it took me a minute to respond as I had to let the outside world catch up with me.  And just before he left I wished him a happy birthday._

_Out of the corner of my eye I could see the utter look of surprise on his face. I don’t quite understand it, It was two simple words that did nothing more than with him happiness on his day of birth. It’s not really a big deal._

_Emotions, they will continue to confuse me, perhaps I’ll ask John about it later._

**_March 30 th, 2014_ **

**** _Something amazing happened today._

_As I mentioned yesterday, today is my birthday and I didn’t expect, well, anything from Sherlock, but as always, the world’s only Consulting Detective surprised me._

_He said happy birthday._

_Yes, it was only two words, but when you’re expecting nothing, that’s a lot. Besides,_ Sherlock Holmes _said_ Happy Birthday _. To me! I didn’t even know he knew when it was._

_When I came home from the night out with Lestrade, Sherlock was quick to ask me about my shock from the birthday wish. For a man who is so brilliant, I seem to be explaining a lot to him._

_Of course I replied with an answer explaining that I hadn’t expected the comment and that I didn’t know he even knew when my birthday was._

_“Of course I knew when your birthday was, I retrieved your birth certificate some years ago, remember?”_

_I was as much shock as before and wasn’t quite sure how to respond. I remembered, but only once he brought it up. When I asked him why he never said anything, with all the years we’ve been together he only responded that there was never a need to. I asked him to elaborate but he had already deemed the conversation over and didn’t respond._

_I don’t want to let his words bother me, but even now as I write, I can’t help but wonder what he meant._

**_Monday, March 31 st, 2014. Approximately 3:42am_ **

**** _I asked John about his shock, and he explained that it was simply unexpected. After some explanation on my part about seeing his birth certificate he seemed to understand but then continued to question._

_Why now?_

_I simply answered that there was never a need to before. He of course questioned this answer as well. Sometimes that man just isn’t satisfied. Though I did indeed hear the question, but chose to remain silent as I found I did not have an adequate answer. John did not bother me any more about it and soon went to bed._

_Now I find myself unable to sleep, which is not unusual but when John came out and yelled at me for playing my violin I resorted to writing._

_I still don’t know exactly what I meant with what I answered before about never needing to before. The best I can come up with is that John never really brought it up, not as a big deal at least. I do vaguely remember some mentions or references but my responses were hardly meaningful._

_But things are different, now, aren’t they? I know I hurt John and though I don’t exactly believe that it is in my nature, I do believe that I’m trying to make it up to him. So no, I don’t believe there was ever a need before, John was always there, birthdays are trivial. At least they were. But I know I really, truly meant it when I said Happy Birthday this time._

_There is one thing John doesn’t understand, one thing I haven’t been able to tell him._

_All that time, those two years I was supposed to be dead, in a way, I lost him too._


	3. In Which Sherlock Finally Gets A Case

** Chapter Three **

** In Which Sherlock Finally Gets A Case **

****

**_Friday, April 4 th, 2014. Approximately 1:27 am_ **

**** _A CASE! A CASE! FINALLY A CASE!_

_And a good one at that. A kidnapping of three very important business figures. The CEO of a very large make-up company, the head researcher in a line of popular pharmaceuticals, and the daughter of the head of a bread company, who just happens to be next in line for the throne. The Yard was foolish enough to think they could handle this without me and only came to me for help when they had screwed up enough to let one of the captives die. Then again, the death left several large clues._

_First of all, the killer/kidnapper is foolish enough to leave the weapon behind. While they didn’t leave any finger prints, it is no matter. I have concluded from shoe size and stride in the mud outside the warehouse where the victim was found that the culprit is either a woman or otherwise a very petite man. There were also strands of hair about 6 cm in length to help with this conclusion found on the victim’s shoulder._

_Inside the warehouse was not only the victim, stabbed in the chest with a small, every day knife you could find in any kitchen, but also three chairs with ropes tangled on the floor. There were traces of blood found on the ropes that I’m sure match that of the other two victims._

_The Killer took their time, as the place was immaculately clean of any other evidence. But this only went to prove that the death of our dear CEO was not an accident. It’s a sign, a warning that we’re getting close._

_Oh how I do love a good case! I think I’m starting to understand why John enjoys writing this all down, my Mind Palace is an extraordinary way to keep track of information, but this – this keeps the excitement alive, beyond the facts and clues. I’m still missing something though. Where did the killer move the other two? And what is their motive? I must return to my Mind Palace now. I have the missing link I just can’t see it yet._

**_April 5 th, 2014_ **

_I’m not a praying man, but I can’t help but thank whatever god there is for finally giving Sherlock a case. I won’t go into details, as I’ll end up just repeating myself on my blog, but I can say that I haven’t seen Sherlock this_ alive _since before the fall. He doesn’t realize it himself of course. This is another case, a good one in his book with a triple kidnapping, one of them turned murder, so of course he’ll be excited. Then again, he never saw anything wrong with himself to begin with._

_I tried to point some of these things out to him, the way he muttered to himself, had trouble sleeping, lack of appetite, the way he was easy to startle and most of all how he just seemed all around… haunted._

_He countered that this was all normal, and when I argued back that only some of it was - for him at least – such as he is normally impossible to startle and the whole deal about being haunted, he snapped that he had faked his own death by jumping off a hospital, of course he’s going to be haunted. He then stormed off into his room and slammed his door, ending the argument._

_Have I mentioned that he has been more irritable lately as well?_

_Nevertheless, it was the next day (yesterday) that Lestrade came in with the case. There are few times I have been more relieved. Sherlock was up all night last night trying to figure it out, and I would be lying if it didn’t make me happy. Knowing I was going to be no help, even if I wasn’t exhausted, I went to bed and found him still working this morning._

_He’s a little worked up that he can’t get it yet, but that’s just Sherlock and I’m smiling even as I write this. I’m glad he hardly notices me at the moment, I would hate to have to explain myself. Not like he would understand._

_Anyway, I have faith that he’ll solve it. He always does._

**_Friday, April 11 th, 2014. Approximately 2:06pm_ **

**** _It’s been a week. A week and still nothing, not movement, not new clues or leads. I will give the killer credit, they are smart. Yes, very, but everyone makes mistakes, and it’s only time before this one does too._

_If only they would make a move!_

_This whole lying low business is infuriating and I’m sure John has noticed. He stepped out to buy milk about half an hour ago and not only his footsteps were a little harder than normal and the sound of the door closing was enough to bring Mrs. Hudson out asking if everything was alright. I’m not quite sure what I did to set him off, but I will have to remember to apologize later, he will be expecting it._

**_April 11 th, 2014_ **

_Sherlock really set me off today. Snapping at me like that. Like it’s my fault that the case hasn’t been solved yet! Sometimes it’s a wonder how I ever handle that man._

_I set out to buy milk and I’m feeling a little calmer now. It also helped that Sherlock apologized when I got home. I got the feeling that he wasn’t quite sure what he was apologizing for, but I wouldn’t expect him to. Still it was nice for him to remember that it was the appropriate thing to do._

_I think he’s getting better, if only a little. In what way, I’m not sure._

**_Monday, April 14 th, 2014. Approximately 11:54pm._ **

_Finally solved the case today. No more deaths, but a ransom note was sent out to the Yard demanding money. A shame really, I believed her to be above such pettiness. But of course this was her mistake. Using the note, I tracked down a Ms. Angela Sampson and her captives in a foreclosed building on the east end of London. She felt cheated in some way by each of her captors and demanded payment. All very childish. Wish she could have done better. I’m a little ashamed of myself for taking so long to solve this._

_Went to dinner at Angelo’s afterwards for the first time since my return. Angelo, as always insisted on putting a candle on the table, John started to protest the usual, but eventually fell silent. I have yet to conclude whether he just doesn’t have the energy anymore, sees the pointlessness of his protests (people are going to talk and spread their rumors despite what he says) or if it was simply something. Perhaps it is something I will have to investigate next time I’m bored._

_Another note, John’s nightmares have seem to be getting worse recently, even now I can hear him in his bedroom quite clearly. It’s amazing that he doesn’t wake Mrs. Hudson. I feel that I should help him, being his friend, or whatever it is that I am considered, but I am not sure how. I am not particularly certain I’m exactly the one for the task either. This is something I will have to find a solution for as quickly as possible. An idiot knows that his therapist isn’t doing anything for him. Is he even still seeing her? I will have to ask John when he wakes up. If he is, I’ll have to tell him to fire her._

_Perhaps Lestrade has an answer, or as a last resort, Mycroft, and I repeat, AS A LAST RESORT. But if it comes down to it, Mycroft might have the answer, I will not let my hate for the man interfere with John’s well-being. John always comes first._

_Mycroft would be laughing right about now._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readers! Thank you so much for sticking with this, I'm so sorry it took soooooooo long to get out, but I really hit a block with it. That being said. This story is not plotted in any way so chapters will be slow coming, just a forewarning. For an update in the status in my stories, check out my profile. That being said, I greatly appreciate kudos and comments. Please and thank you! Thank you again for reading!


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